Sunday, 26 April 2015

Trickle Treat

Over here in England, we are currently going through an election. If you're not from England, here is a summary of the five main parties:

  1. Conservatives - the bad guys,
  2. UKIP - the ultra bad yet totally ineffectual guys,
  3. Labour - the sounds good and yet inevitably aren't albeit still much better than the alternative guys,
  4. Liberal Democrats - the seemed good until they formed a coalition government with the bad guys and did little to stem the tide of malevolence guys,
  5.  Green - the seem amazing but haven't had a chance to show us why they're not guys, and
  6. SNP - the sounds Scottish and are guys 

In this campaign, one of the encumbent Conservative government's catchphrases is:

The ex-tweens and tween rearers amongst you may be picking up on the fact that this is the also the slogan of these guys:

The difference is that the high school musicalers are a group of go-getting good-timeniks who were telling each other that they were 'all in it together,' whereas the Conservative government is a group of modern day Greek Gods who have floated down from their economic Olympus to inform us plebs that we are all in the same boat.

The first reaction to this is generally:

"No we're fucking not."

But, if you think about it a bit more, I suppose we are all in it together, although the quality of being 'in this together' varies greatly depending on what 'this' is referring to. For example:

  1. The Romans and the Christians were in the colleseum together, as were the lions,
  2. Ike and Tina Turner were in a marriage together, and
  3. Many, many folks were in the human centipede together, although it was only the first in the chain who got to eat food in its pre-shit format

Which leads us on to 'trickle down' theory - the idea that having lots of rich people is beneficial to all of us because raw money will drip out of the cracks in their busted bank accounts and seep down into our mouths as we stare up at them like the slack-jawed mouth gapers that we are.

But, of course, this doesn't work. For one, rich people tend not to spend the majority of their money, and this is why they are rich of course - because they hold on to it all. The other problem is that when they do spend money, they tend to buy the sort of things that rich people buy from the sorts of places where poor people do not work, meaning that the money that does circulate doesn't make it down much further than the upper-lower middle classes. Even if they did swoop down to dogshitland to buy our twenty-bags and third-hand dirt bikes, they'd still only be paying scum prices for it all, so it's not like it would make much of a difference to anyone's lives anyway.


The slogan is pretty much accurate, and that's probably why it's so annoying. To make it 100% accurate, however, it should be expanded a little to this:

'We're all in this fucking bullshit together, and there is nothing you can do about it, muwahahahahahahahaha!'

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