I should warn you that this is like the third post involving defecation I've made in the last few days, but I am running out of material on the subject now, so hopefully this will be the last!
- white, and
- square shaped,
like a sheet of toilet roll is.
"Ah ha!" I thought, "I've got it! I shall use a slice of bread."
This seemed like a great idea, as a sheet of bread is similar to a slice of roll, so why can't they perform the same functions as one another?
Yeah, this was a colosal error, and as soon as it made contact with my anus it instantly disintegrated, leaving me with a handful of shitty Hovis and no obvious way of getting out of the situation.
- Being too lazy to keep on top of my toilet roll stock
- Wasting food when there are people in Bradford starving
- Innapropriate wiping
Well, I certainly won't be doing that again, but it is good to try out new ideas isn't it, and who amongst you can honestly say you've never considered using pre-sliced bread as a poo remover? And it's not like it was toast, I'm not a sado-masochist!
Yeah, so just carry on in this fashion Willis, you are fucking smashing it son.