However, what I have seen this week has amused me!
From what I gather, there is now a tax on pasties? Or hot food in general? I assume this is some sort of 'fat-tax,' designed to make some money off the chubbier amongst us before they wreak havok on the NHS with their decaying loads?
"What the fuck? Is this just a post in which you try and guess what's going on based on having seen the front cover of The Sun?"
Oh fuck, yeah, so far it kind of us!
But, I shall get to what amused me with post haste!
Basically, there were pictures of conservative MP's trying to eat pasties, and the looks of sheer, confused revulsion on their faces was absolutely fucking amazing!
"Oh fuck! Oh my Thatcher sharpening fuck! Why is it so dry? Why is it so fucking dry!? Oh, you dirty fucking peasant bastards. No wonder you all look like sacks of medical waste with frowny faces drawn on, if this is what you eat, you dirty shitting pricks."
"What if I just hold it near my face like the cookie monster? No good? Oh, you nasty little cat biffer. Not you, I was talking to the food."
"Oh christ, there's more! What are these? Meat and potato? Meat? Do these granny strangling binge spongers not even care what animal they're eating?"
"Hot, HOT, HOT! Is it supposed to be that hot? Really!? You complain that we treat you like idiots, then you go and buy fatty pockets of fire as a treat? You need to get a fucking grip Britain."
There's a guy called David Ike who left his former career as a BBC sports presenter to start telling people that the world is secretly controlled by reptilian humanoids, who pose as political figures and other people of note. While that sounds like he would be on the fringe of what is already a fringe group of people, he is massively popular, despite the unlikelihood of his mental fucking ideas. ***
However, are these pictures of political figures attempting to eat human food the first concrete evidence that politicians are actually giant lizards? I mean, am I going crazy, or is this next picture clearly a space reptile in a man suit confusedly tasting a Gregg's cheese and onion with his slimy mouth probe?
*** I watched a pretty good documentary a bit ago in which a psychologist hypothesised that conspiracy theorists believe that all of the worlds scariest events are meticulously controlled by shadowy puppet masters, because the idea that the world is out of control is actually far scarier indeed. So essentially, conspiracy theories are God for people who are attracted to bastards.
The documentary was about the 9/11 conspiracies. The best bit was when they interviewed some people from construction companies, who all agreed that it would be impossible to collapse the twin towers as part of a controlled demolition, as the preparatory work would take weeks and would be highly noticeable. The head conspiracy honchos first response to this was:
ALL of the construction companies are in on it
Finding that "theory" implausible even by their own standards however, they came up with a new stance, which was:
The government used secret explosive material that no one knows about
But really, once you're at the point where you are accusing people of using 'secret explosive material that no one knows about,' essentially what you are saying is:
Magic. They did it with magic.
"Oh, so you don't think that the world is secretly controlled by an insidious cabal of absolute bastards do you? Huh, yeah right."
Err, no, not really.
What I believe is that the world is quite visibly controlled by a quite visible gang of absolute bastards, who have worked out that they can sustain their power by providing a minimum level of comfort for a majority of people.
Once you can no longer get a hot sausage roll for a reasonable price anymore, that's when all the secret lizard bastards will come out.
Click to enlarge pictures