Stalin for Time

I received a lovely email at the train station today, which conversely left me feeling very sad. I felt like I was going to cry, and I wanted to, not really caring what my fellow travellers thought of me, but my brain seemed to repress my tears like an automatic bodily function, like breathing. It's hard for a fragile Germanic beauty such as myself to grow up in an emotionally anti-septic nation such as Great Britain, and I don't want my emotions to be trapped inside of me like a stick of rock with the word, "Shhh!" running through it. No, I want them to flow heady and unbound like a pint of superior German beer pulled by a buxom pub landlord on a tipsy Tuesday afternoon!

Be still my brave German heart...

Writing this has cheered me up immensely actually! Although the sadness is a worry, as I possibly can't be friends with a person whose kind words make me sad face, and I do dearly want to be friends with them :-s

Gah, it'll be reet I'm sure! And I think I know how I can solve this problem now (the solution involves chemicals, a rare bird of paradise, and a Feast lolly).

Anyway, in case 'fragile Germanic beauty' wasn't funny enough to warrant this post on its own, here is a picture of Stalin, arm-wrestling a dwarf elephant. Except Stalin is using his leg, and the elephant is using it's trunk, so it's better described as 'leg trunking?' Or 'trunk legging?' Or 'trunky-bang man slamming?'

After posting that picture, I realised:

"That elephant is coming at this trunky-bang man slam from a very unorthodox position which clearly puts him at an advantage over Stalin."

So, for the sake of the narrative, I have had now had Stalin notice too:

For those precious few of you who are not fluent in Russian, Stalin is saying:

"Kneel behind Stalin."

It was a lot of fun typing that into Google Translate I can tell you! Also for those who don't speak Russian:

"Ваше невежество делает мой сексроговой"

Stalin got the better of the beast in the end anyway, and it had to put its clothes back on as a forfeit. I should probably point out that this picture contains no symbolism, and is merely the first thing that came into my head! But I won't. Although it's true.

Anyway!

Willis

UPDATE!

Since writing this post, I have messaged the pictures I drew of Stalin leg trunking in an effort to entice her. I did also include some words of explanation. So far she has not taking the bait! It seemed like a dead good idea at the time, but I have since started thinking:

"Maybe not the best introductory message?"

RECENT MISTAKES

1. Allowing my brain to have any power of my actions
2. Assuming crudely drawn pictures of Stalin would work as a lady exciter
3. That really bad thing I did that I did to that wolf that I probably shouldn't go into details about

ANALYSIS

Yeah, my brain's days of running the show are over as I'm just about to light a cigarette and put it out in my ear. See how you like that neo-cortex! Although I'm not entirely sure if the neo-cortex is part of your brain? It's definitely the name of the bad guy from Crash Bandicoot.

Also:

I WILL STOP MESSAGING GIRLS DRAWINGS OF STALIN

I WILL STOP MESSAGING GIRLS DRAWINGS OF STALIN

I WILL STOP MESSAGING GIRLS DRAWINGS OF STALIN

I WILL STOP MESSAGING GIRLS DRAWINGS OF STALIN

I WILL STOP MESSAGING GIRLS DRAWINGS OF STALIN